Updates after a 3 month hiatus!

I know it’s been a while. I’m sitting here in Antigua at the end of what is known as “Reconnect” which basically entails all the volunteers from my training class coming together or reconnecting to share experiences, have a good time, and make sure we’re all doing okay. This is the longest time I’ve spent outside of site and I feel very strange. I want to go back home. Yep, home, not the United States but the lovely little town of Canillá. Antigua is great but it’s basically like the United States, everything is at my fingertips: internet, good food, clothes, bars, etc. I mean hell the other day I went to a gym, a real gym, and took a bike class. Nuts! I’m not even sure where I should start at this point since I haven’t written a single entry in my blog since I arrived in my site but here it goes!
I’ll start with my first time taking the bus to Canillá. So after swear-in we all said our goodbyes and went in groups to our cabecera (department capital). That experience was surreal. You have no idea what to expect, what you’re getting into, you’re saying goodbye to the familiar yet again. It’s difficult to properly describe the mental state I was in but a blend of fear, excitement and nervousness is probably the best description. I distinctly remember arriving in Quiche and looking for the bus to my town. I ask around and someone shockingly asked me why I was going there and then informed me that the bus that was already leaving the terminal was the last bus into town and what I needed to take. Shit! Luckily they whistle and shout for the bus driver to stop so I can get on. Life saver. The moment I step into the bus, I get 50 Guatemalan stares at once. I try to remember all the advice from other PCVs and so I just say hello to everyone and smile as much as possible (gotta make a good impression!) Every now and then when I get on that bus a smile to myself and remember that story; it’s comforting to know that what seemed so unfamiliar 3 months ago is routine now.
Every volunteer has a different type of experience and thus far I’ve been quite busy and I love it. I love that this is a job. Sure, sometimes it gets old to have to continuously make small talk in Spanish (I hate small talk in English so to have to do it in another language is even more laborious). My first month in site consisted of working long hours to help put together an event to elect a Mayan Princess. My town is a fascinating mix of cultures, pretty much half and half with Ladinos and Mayans. Then my next month consisted of planning for 2011 with our projects and activities. This brings me to my second point, my counterparts are super “pilas” (aka ambitious and hardworking). So for all of you out there that think that all Guatemalans are lazy or don’t know how to do anything…you’re wrong. Come on over to Canillá and I’ll show you a great group of co-workers. Sure it takes twice as long to get things done because we stop to gossip or tell some random story but we’re a team. That’s something you don’t get in the States and I know I’ll miss terribly when I go home. The other day we were talking about elections (if a new Mayor gets elected basically all of my co-workers are fired and replaced with the new Mayor’s people) and one of my co-workers said “don’t worry Carolina, if we don’t work here we’ll still help you out because what’s important is that we help the women and children here and that our five year plan keeps going”. I’m incredibly lucky.
I also have a wonderful family and sitemate who is basically part of my family now too. When I first arrived to site I lived with this one family that was okay but I didn’t necessarily feel too comfortable. The lamina roof didn’t connect with the walls so birds were constantly in my room and it would get incredibly chilly at night. Also there was a man who lived in the room next door whose snoring was INCREDIBLY loud. I can usually sleep through anything (bombas, dog barking, camioneta noises) but this dude took it to another level. Thus, all of those things added together just made me feel uncomfortable. Justin reminded me of advice that he heard from another volunteer that in Peace Corps we have enough situations of feeling uncomfortable so there’s no need to make it worse. If you don’t feel comfortable in your own home, life’s going to be pretty rough. There are a couple situations that seem to stand out in my mind in regards to living in that house. The first day I arrived in site I read for hours and cried. Change is hard and even though you know it’ll get better it’s still scary. All I had was a bed (thank God I had that!) and emptied suitcases. Alone. Another situation that was strange for me was cooking. It’s like I had put up a wall or something in regards to getting cooking supplies and cooking for myself, some sort of mental roadblock. I’d make so many excuses so that I wouldn’t have to cook for myself. It seems ridiculous now looking back but at the time I just didn’t want to do it. I think I thought that if I started setting up my kitchen and everything then I’d have to stay in that house. I just didn’t want to settle in so for that first month I just told myself that everything was temporary. Even though my living situation wasn’t ideal, things at work were great and my co-workers made up for the lack of feeling at home in my old house.
By the beginning of December I moved into my new family’s house. I definitely have to thank Peace Corps for coming out to my site so quickly to approve my new living situation. I told them I wanted to spend Christmas with this new family which meant I had to move in that week; they arrived the next day. I live with a great couple and my “mom” reminds me more of my abuelita which is great and her son and daughter-in-law live next door which is where my sitemate lives. So we’re all a big family and it’s perfect. I never want to move out and I’m thrilled that I have a family now. I always knew I wanted to live with a family during my service. I know Americans love their privacy and all that jazz but I miss my family at home incredibly and it’s important to me to have a close connection with a family here to help deal with that separation. Obviously no one can replace my mom and pop but I can already tell it’s going to be incredibly hard to leave my Guatemalan family after two years.
This is getting pretty long and there’s still so much more to say, I’ll have to put up another post describing the work I’ve been doing and plan to do next. But in general, Peace Corps is one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. I know I’ll have my lows and difficult moments, but I know this is where I belong. Isn’t it an amazing feeling when things just connect? When you know what you’re doing at that moment is exactly what you need to be doing at exactly the right time.