Tangible project or relationship building?

Sometimes I wonder if I started on the wrong foot. I’m about a year into my service and, as such, I’ve really tried to reflect upon what I’ve done thus far and where I would like to go. The other day I was talking to the person I replaced in site to gain a better understanding of what she missed the most about her service and Canillá. She told me that the people, the play dates with children, the strength of the women who fought for their families while having so little; those were much more impactful than the “work” aspect of her service. It made me think, “What am I doing with my service?” Have I just been imposing my American work values and definitions of “success” on this incredible experience and opportunity to appreciate life in a new and exciting way?

In my defense, this past year has been quite interesting due to the election period. Women in communities stopped showing up for meetings due to fear of giving the impression that they were in support of the mayor when in fact they supported someone else. I also believe strongly in working with my co-workers. I could go out to communities by myself and start from scratch but, at least for now, my co-workers are very knowledgeable and workshops go much better when they are present with me. I continuously go back and forth between telling myself that I’m just making excuses and telling myself that I should stick true to the capacity building aspect of Peace Corps. Anyway, in lieu of community outings and workshops, my co-worker and I have been going full steam with the construction of a Cultural Center. Right now we’re about a month into the construction but we have had several delays due to transportation delays, weather, elections, etc. So currently the workers are putting up the metal rebar skeleton for the cement columns that serve as the support of the entire structure. But once again, after having that conversation about how the people truly make a service, I’m beginning to wonder if I went about all of this incorrectly. Have I sacrificed relationship-building opportunities for a tangible project? Perhaps I’m being too critical, but I think it’s important to analyze the past year in order to make a stronger effort to explore new realms in the next coming year. When I think of new projects, I tell myself, once the Center is done, I’m too busy now. I don’t want to go home thinking that I didn’t take full advantage of this opportunity. I guess sometimes it just gets so exhausting to be an outsider; I’d prefer to spend my free time holed up in my room working on “personal growth” or, let’s be honest, crossing off must-see tv episodes. As with everything in life, it’s about balance. (On that note, here’s a funny video clip about PC that I got from a fellow PCV’s facebook )


Hopefully I can balance the tangible and intangible successfully enough to finish my two years feeling satisfied and being able to tell new volunteers about what I miss the most after I have COS’d.