Congratulations! You will be in...

Guatemala! The past 24 hours have been a whirlwind of emotions. I anxiously awaited driving straight to my mailbox after work yesterday only to find that there wasn't anything relating to the PC. Dismayed, I walked to my apartment and there it was lying in front of my door, this beautiful packet that encompassed by potential future. I, of course, ripped it open and frantically looked for a country name. Guatemala, awesome! That's exactly what I expected thanks to the Peace Corps Wiki Timeline

So then on to the next question...what in the world would I be doing!? "Municipal Development Advisor" (honestly a bit surprised, I thought it would say NGO development) So what does that mean:
"the focus...is to strengthen activities of the Municipal Planning Office and/or Municipal Women's Office in each municipality and to increase citizen participation in local development" So community development, I can dig it. Something new which is amazing and lends me the opportunity to be exposed to new things and actually gain some interesting hard skills (I think).

As I continued to read and get excited something hit me like a sack o' potatoes..."you will be working in a RURAL setting and living in a town of 1,000 to 10,000 people". Whoa. To gauge what this means...1,000 people is less than the number of people who went to my high school. Now, obviously I knew that most of Guatemala is rural and I definitely wasn't expecting, nor did I want, to be in a city. But there is a HUGE difference between 1,000 and 10,000 and to be perfectly honest I was hoping for mid size. Maybe b/c I view Moshi, TZ as the perfect size, developed enough to have various restaurants and entrepreneurial activity but also very homey and small town feel (Moshi's estimated pop is around 15,000). I felt incredibly uncomfortable in Arusha and would not want to be in that kind of setting.

So for some reason I felt a little down. I thought I would be jumping up and down with excitement! I thought I would instantly know, feel and think "yes this is right". But instead I was flooded with doubt. I was stressed, had more questions than answers, and then I invited my boyfriend over who happened to point out all the negatives "whoa you may not even have running water!" or "how would it be like being a woman in such a conservative country?". He definitely apologized for this after the fact and realized that he needed to also point out the positives. I spoke with a friend who is an RPCV and she reassured that it's just the initial invitation shock, and also reminded me that if you're looking for something with a concrete set of expectations and outcomes...Peace Corps is not for you. That is so true. In my anxiety of trying to piece together my future...I forgot what this is all about! The Adventure! To learn new things, to be comfortable with the fact that I won't know everything, that I can't micromanage the situation, I either have to go for it or not but I'll never know all the details! This is a beautiful amazing experience and that's part of the learning process.

About a year ago I had randomly emailed a PCV who happened to be in Guatemala and he said "the best advice I received is to go in with no expectations"

In essence...JUMP!!!

I'll let you know where I land :)